that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
