I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
