I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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