I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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