Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
third nipple confirmed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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