Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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