Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
