Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
