yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
