Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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