No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
