I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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