nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
