Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
