at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
