Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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