What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
