Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
