I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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