is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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