I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
