Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
