Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
