it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
