dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
