I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
