I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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