apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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