oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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