He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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