i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
