did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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