He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
