the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
