so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
