When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
