At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
