is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
