Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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