Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
