He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
