I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We need to feng shui this bitch.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
