And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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