Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
