Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
