is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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