just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
