this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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