Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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