so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
