Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
